Asking for Help in Class. Why is it So Scary? What Can We Do to Help?

        Many Middle School and High School Deaf/HH students I work with often don't ask for help or ask questions in their classes. Some attend all general education classes while others attend a mixture of small group classes, classes with two teachers, and general education classes. Instead of simply asking for help, they might sit there pretending they get it, turn in work late or they may not do the work because they did not understand it. Perhaps they find a friend who can help them if they are lucky. Some of them are able to figure it out for themselves, but they waste a lot of energy trying to learn the material on their own and complete the work on time. Some will bring it home and ask for help from their family, which can bring unnecessary stress.

        Why are they not asking for help from their teachers? What is so wrong with asking questions in class?

I asked some of my students and these are some of their responses:

I don't want my friends to think I'm stupid.

I want my teacher to think I'm smart.

They (teachers) get mad.

I don't want that look. The look of "What? you don't know how to do this?!"

I don't want to annoy them.

They are going to think I was not paying attention.  

They are too busy.

I can Google it.

I can figure it out on my own. 

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        I understand. Why ask for help if you think you are going to be insulted? Why ask for help if you think you are going to be a pest? Why ask for help if you think you are going to appear unintelligent? Why bother asking questions when you have Google? Why risk admitting you need help in front of everyone? 

        How do we get students to ask for help in the class?  What are some strategies they can use to help make the experience less frightening? What should teachers do? 

        Are schools set up in a way that makes it impossible for students and teachers to ask questions and take the time to understand the material? How do we help students with social disorders? What about the shy kids?  

        Asking questions and asking for help is an important skill. This is how we learn. It is part of being a human being. We are not robots. We should not feel pressured to act "smart" filled with knowledge fed to us. Why is this happening? Do we as a society feel the need to act as if we know everything? Are people punished for asking questions? Are they seen as trouble makers, annoying, or unintelligent?  

        Is it healthy for students to accept (memorize) information they don't understand while attempting to make perfect test scores and grades?  

        What are your thoughts? Any suggestions? 

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